Consumerism

Over the past few years, my desire to buy things has faded. I care less and less about buying new clothes, a new car, home decorations, electronics, videogames, and books. I'm sure most of it stems from having to pack my life in two suitcases prior to moving to Japan. Limited to two suitcases, I had to take a very no-nonsense approach to packing. (I still can't believe most of the non-American JETs had half the weight allowance we did.) Awareness of my responsibility to ship all my crap back home has kept me from buying much stuff in Japan.

I think paying off my car also contributed to this. I paid almost an entire car note on my own, watching that chunk of my income vanish every month. I'd just as soon not throw all that money at a new car, unless and until my current one ceases to function.

Taking that lesson--if it ain't broke, don't fix it--and applying it to other purchases, I lost all desire to buy new clothes, unless and until my current clothes cease to function. Same for my computer: I need it for school, the Internet, and Skyping home. Whether it can run StarCraft II is of no consequence.

Videogames are a bit different. I tried to stop playing them altogether a couple of years ago. It worked for a while, but I couldn't stick to it. I've since come to view videogames as doing for me what watching TV, taking cigarette breaks, playing golf, going on long drives, going to the gym, listening to and performing music, movies, coloring in a coloring book, cleaning, and gardening do for most other people: they provide me an escape. I veg out for an hour or two a day on videogames, and that allows me to de-stress, to process what happened that day, to settle down, and to collect my thoughts.

Having acknowledged those benefits, I noticed that the game I was playing made surprisingly little difference: I relax just as much playing Guitar Hero 3 as I do playing WarCraft II. That in mind, I took inventory of my videogames--WarCraft II, WarCraft III, Diablo, Diablo II, SimCity 4, and Star Wars: Rebellion, to name a few--and realized that I derive just as much joy from playing them now as I did when I first got them. (Some of them--gulp--ten years ago.) Why should I spend money on shiny new systems and games when the ones I have right now satisfy the same desire just as well?

I consume music, but I don't pay for it anymore. I can't justify spending money on songs. I just can't. I grew up with Napster; I simply cannot bring myself to pay $20 for a CD or $.99 for a song. I freely acknowledge that downloading music is unethical--not to mention illegal. If I could no longer download music for free, I'd simply content myself with what I already have--I would not spend money on new music. The point is, I've found a way to live without spending money on music.

I also consume old videogames the same way. Emulators are a wonderful thing. I'm under the impression that ownership of an emulated ROM image is legal only if you have paid for the original game. If that's the case, there's no problem in my enjoying the old NES, SNES, and Genesis games I used to play.

Eliminating or at least reducing my consumption of books originally proved problematic. Before coming to Japan, I would occasionally spend a couple of hours in a Borders or Barnes & Noble, reading a book without buying it. (I read The Catcher in the Rye and Survival of the Sickest like this in the summer of 07 while driving from Missouri to Utah and back.)

Once I got my Sony reader, this changed a bit. Following the same (admittedly potentially flawed) logic I use for ROMs, I found free digital versions of most of the books I already own--mainly Calvin and Hobbes strips and Michael Crichton and Star Wars books. Sites like Project Gutenberg provide digital versions of thousands of public domain texts; I've downloaded a whole library of books from them.

The upshot of all this is that I've lost most of my desire to buy stuff. I walk through shopping malls without feeling the slightest inclination to buy things. I love browsing, and I don't skimp on essentials like groceries, but I only buy clothes and electronics when the ones I currently own no longer serve their purpose.

When I got home, Mom and Dad asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Without needing much time to think, I realized that I didn't want them to buy me anything. I told them that being home with them was gift enough for me--not meaning it to sound as cliché as it did. This was hard for Dad to accept, because a large part of his role as a father has always been to work to provide things for us: a home, food, clothes, and other tangible things. It's not that he tried to give us things instead of showing us love--I've never, ever taken it that way. That's just the role he assumed, and not telling him about something he can go out and buy for me for Christmas made him uncomfortable.

One huge drawback to my disdain for unnecessary consumption is how it colors my attitude toward buying gifts for others. I don't want toys or electronics or sports equipment or clothes anymore, so I have a much harder time empathizing with those who do. This creates a serious problem, because trying to avoid getting someone a present for lack of desire to consume can very easily be construed as being uncaring or trying to be cheap. That I'm also a horrible procrastinator doesn't help the impression, either.