Cabbages & Condoms

Augustin and Lada met me at the airport. It's more than a little trippy seeing them: this is only the second time I've traveled in Asia with friends from back home. Augie had arrived the day before and was jetlagged pretty badly. We caught up on random things as we headed to Lada's car. The heat and humidity of Bangkok felt amazing to me, having come from still-chilly Japan that morning.

Lada drove us into Bangkok. Augie commented that he still hasn't gotten used to the roads, and it took me a minute to realize what he meant: Thai folks drive on the left side of the road. That is, of course, the opposite of America, but it's the same as Japan, so I hadn't noticed.

It was coming up on dinnertime, so Lada took us to a restaurant she'd heard of called "Cabbages & Condoms." I didn't believe her until we pulled up to the place. Sure enough, that's the restaurant's name. We walked past a gallery of various condom-related posters and works of art, including two mannequins decked out in condom apparel. On our way to the table, we noticed most of the floral arrangements were composed of condoms.

The food itself was great: various types of curry with rice. Lada also ordered a condom salad. It gets the name from having a type of noodle that's slick and chewy, which I suppose is how one would describe chewing latex. Augie and I discussed economics and culture over dessert, and I was surprised to discover how badly I've missed having someone to talk to about deep stuff.

In preparation for meeting her parents, I asked Lada for a crash course in Thai etiquette. The biggest thing she taught me was the wai. When greeting someone in Thailand, it's customary to clasp your hands as if praying, lower your head so that your index fingers are touching the tip of your nose, and bow slightly.

The total for all three of us came to about $15. On our way out, there was a stand set up. On a sign was written an apology for not having after-dinner mints. Instead, it offered condoms.